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ROAD TRIP: Second Installment – Cleveland OH

Posted on September 11, 2009. Filed under: Beer, Life, MLB, NFL, Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

ON THE ROAD AGAIN:  After two great days in Cincinnati – props to the Cincinnatian Hotel downtown on Vine St, especially to the bartender Natasha – and don’t you meet the most interesting people in a hotel bar?   Not to digress, but I will, we met a wonderful, loving woman who along with her other daughter, was helping her eldest battle late-stage breast cancer, and a very talkative Australian guy in his sixties, who has traveled America coast-to-coast, visiting the nooks and crannies of our beautiful country.  Something most Americans never get a chance to do . . . 

Anyway, we drove the four hour trek to Cleveland in time to check into the downtown Wyndham hotel – which was a steal of a deal at $105 bucks for the night, and then walk the two blocks to the Jake.  Progressive Field, I mean . . . although most of the fans still sported THE JAKE shirts . . .

It’s a gorgeous ballpark, and I’d have to rate it ahead of the Great American Ballpark in Cincy.  The open “floor plan” was condusive to catching the game action from almost anywhere, and the beer prices were lower.  Plus any park that has an open bar in centerfield with the game cornhole set up next to it must have been well thought out . . .

The ushers at Progressive field weren’t very pleasant, you could even say they were annoyed at you being there, shooing people away and not making eye contact when talking to, or AT you . . .

A product of not winning a championship since the Browns did it in 1964?  Before the Super Bowl era?  Probably . . .

One of my favorite moments came after the game when we walked to down the street to “Harry Buffalo”, a rustic sports bar that had $2, 23oz Miller Lites – cheers – when a young girl who couldn’t have been older than 22 and was TANKED, approached me for directions with her two tagalongs – This is how the conversation went:

DLG (Drunk Little Girl):  Heyeyeyeyey!!  (while chewing gum with her mouth wider than Angela Jolie’s legs) D’ya know where the wess end issss?

ME:  No, I’m sorry but I’m not from here.

DLG:  Wowww, where ya from then? (chew, chew, chew, snap)

ME:  Pittsburgh, we’re visiting different . . .
 
DLG:  WAIT!  D’ya saya Pisssttburgh? (no more chewing, mouth just hung open)

ME:  Yes.

DLG:  Are ya Steelers flan?

ME:  Yes.

DLG :  F*#K OFF!   (chew, chew, snap)

Then she quickly stormed down the street sideways, with her tagalongs in tow, before I gathered my thoughts to say, “okay, and I’ll take our six lombardi trophies with me.”

I think I was in shock that this young chick would say something like that to me.  I’m a 30-year old woman.  Do kids have ANY respect any more? 

Or is it just a product of not winning a championship since the Browns did it in 1964?  Before the Super Bowl era?  Probably . . .

 

An Ode to Cleveland….

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ROAD TRIP: First Installment – Cincinnati OH

Posted on September 2, 2009. Filed under: Beer, Life, MLB, Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

YES!  I am voluntarily going on a road trip visiting baseball parks and the NFL Hall of Fame.  I mention my intentions for my vacation to many with an overwhelming response ” why not the beach?”  Because as my readers know, I LOVE SPORTS.  Any chance I get to enhance my sports experience, knowledge or actuality, I WILL.  Plus,  I am more into beer than I am bathing suits right now . . .

FIRST STOP:  Great American Ball Park, Cincinnati OH – Courtesy of Mo Egger, of WLW & WCKY radio in Cincy, you can check him cincinnati-ohout at http://1530homer.com/pages/mo.html, where you can enjoy the Cincinnati sports rhetoric and the insightful female  commentary to this statement “August 31st, 2009, when the Reds played the Pirates in front of maybe 1,500 people.”  My husband, Jason, and I were at the afternoon game today and there were BARELY that many people at the park and the “paid attendance” was 11,516 – I thought to myself, who in the heck are you trying to impress?   Seriously?  Besides that weird calculation, there were many fabulous, and several funny, things about our trip to Cincy this far.  Including:

WOOHOO!  You can buy beer in a coinvienence store . . .

Okay, you got me, that wasn’t the first thing I realized, but it was VERY high up on the priority list . . .

Pittsburgh 6AM – First stop 9:30AM – While you are driving from Pittsburgh to Cincinnati, you don’t realize how southern you are getting.  We stopped about 30 miles outside of Cincy at a Mickey Ds (Jeffersontown?) – cause its the ONLY recognizable stop for a good 80 mile stretch – and the accent was crazy!    One of the workers was shouting over and over again- CAN WE GET FRESH EGGS WITH THAT BIG BREAKFAST? in an insane southern accent – just stop and say that to yourself several times . . . crazy.

Cincinnati’s Great American Ball Park is gorgeous – the only thing I didn’t like is that you can’t see the field from the entire concourse.

As we got in the ball park after sneaking a quick chugging of a couple miller lites – you never want to take chances in visiting ball parks with drinking in public – just fyi . . . we bought a couple of beers  – 16 oz plastics at $7.50 a piece . . . so we were paying a buck fifty each beer pair more than we do at PNC PArk in Pittsburgh – but guess what?  We don’t care, we are on VACATION!!!

Then, we turn around the corner and find a BAR.  A real live bar where you can order SHOTS. Yes, shots . . . so Jason and I did some tequila.  Who wants to hear my joke?  Okay, you do . . .

Why did the husband throw his wife over the bridge? 

TEQUILA!!!  Get it?  I hope so . . .

Anyway, here are a few more observations on our trip so far:

LOVE the highlight zone with 13 flat screen TVs – although only 4 were ON while we were there . . . 

Weird, random, female fan overdosed on tanning and had an accordian skin two rows in front of us . . . gross.

Loved the Skyline Chili Dogs – got a FREE dog and just LOVED the dish . . . Big ‘n Rich weren’t lyin . . .

Met a few extra cool fans – including the newly 21 year olds, Kelly & Ben  . . . both them and their parents were FAB!

The Police Officers were also top notch, including Officers, Jodice & Brehm . . . picture coming soon!

Thanks for a great expderince, Cincinnati!

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One Of The Best Fan Signs EVER . . .

Posted on June 10, 2009. Filed under: Life, NHL, Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Courtesy of my sister-in-law, I’d like to share with you a hockey sign that should go down in the hockey annals as one of the funniest, most creative expressions of fan frustration EVER . . .

Hockey

Hopefully that made you smile . . .

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Best & Worst MLB Promotions . . .

Posted on April 11, 2009. Filed under: MLB, Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

FUNNY . . . I happened upon this article from ESPN.com’s Page 2 – which always has some hysterical content – and this list of best and worst promotions at the ballpark by DJ Gallo is definitely worth your read. 

Here’s a sampling of some of my favorites:

WORST PROMOTIONS

Miguel Cabrera Bobblehead Presented by Little Caesars (Tigers, April 13)
Also presented by Little Caesars: Miguel Cabrera’s waistline.

Fausto Carmona Hat Clip Figurine (Indians, August 13)
“Why do I have a three-inch-tall Fausto Carmona clipped to the bill of my hat? I say why NOT have a three-inch-tall Fausto Carmona clipped to the bill of my hat?”

BEST PROMOTIONS 

Crab Mallet Set (Orioles, June 13)
You’re an Orioles fan. It’s mid-June. Now’s about the time you’ll be jonesing to beat the @#%& out of another living thing.

Kids Pirates Pillow (Pirates, July 19)
This one is only available to those 14 and under. So everyone who gets this item will not have been alive the last time the Pirates had a winning season. And they very well might be asked by their father to hold the pillow over his face until he is sent to a place where the Pirates don’t suck.

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CORNY Local Baseball Commercials – Pittsburgh You Are NOT Alone

Posted on April 10, 2009. Filed under: MLB, Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

THANK YOU COMCAST . . . For the first week of the season, our cable provider aired a free preview of their Major League Baseball season package, so we could watch EVERY game on its local networks.  I was happy to see that Fox Sports was not limiting its corniness to it’s local Pittsburgh coverage.  It’s everywhere. 

You know what I am talking about.   The low-budget, poorly written productions starring your favorite players, coaches and announcers and their bad acting jobs . . .  

For their latest attempt, the Pirates have bit off the shamwow guy, Vince Shlomi.  Of course, they weren’t the only ones.  Shlomi was just arrested for beating up a hooker after she bit his tongue and wouldn’t let go – which makes me wonder WHY IN THE HELL are the Bucs imitating a prostitute beating “john” pitch man in their commercial?

Why was this guy even paying a hooker anyway?  Can’t he have any girl he wants with his shamwow “celebrity”? 

From ShamWOW to ShamOW

From ShamWOW to ShamOW

 
Um, never mind.  I understand why now.  I guess with a name like Vince Shlomi you are destined for two things:  quick tongued, slimy hard selling on infomercials and propositioning prostitutes . . .

Anyway, the Pittsburgh Pirates have always had goofy commercials to try and entice fans to come to the ballpark.  Give it up.  It’s counterproductive.  Here’s an idea . . . put a competitive team on the field.  I think they are going in the right direction, but until then, stick with the fireworks and bobble heads, Buccos.

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I WON . . . I WON! I WON THE MONEY!

Posted on April 9, 2009. Filed under: Golf, Random | Tags: , , |

Not really.  I just love that line from Vegas Vacation . . .

But I was one of the winners in a Caption Contest on www.awfulannouncing.com with a pretty darn funny caption.  Here it is, and be sure to check out the site, it’s awesome.


“Go ahead, man. I am just WAITING for another idiot like Fuzzy to make a fried chicken comment so I can kick their ass with my good leg. Either that or sic my caddy on ’em”- Stacy on Sports

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